Dear Richard Heene,
I don’t like you very much. I used to like you back when you performed some dece acting in Casper (I mean, check out that haircut you decided to keep!! Sexy). However, there are some things I find hard to tolerate, such as your recent behavior. You’re approaching Jon Gosselin-type fury, except he’s Asian and his wife isn’t, you’re opposites! Well, add some ear piercings and Ed Hardy and you guys can be BFFs and blame your wives for selling you down the river… oh wait. Just kidding, you did it to yourselves! HAH. Publicity ain’t always what it seems now that you’re conveniently “Tired” from interviews after forcing your ill son to appear all over national TV. Good parenting, definitely. Really though, I feel sorry for all your children. Being a parent is supposed to include sacrifice and decrease the amount of selfishness in a human being, possibly causing you see the “big picture” about life and the future and all that fun stuff rather than causing a giant hoax involving the frickin’ National Guard and police forces- I’m pretty sure they all have better things to do. We all just wish your acting skills could return to good use like children’s movies rather than garnering press for using your children/ lying to the world. I will also liken you to a Disney villain, perhaps Scar, and I hope that our justice system brings what you deserve most, some hefty charges and hopefully a day or more in prison to perform some skits and return to your acting roots. Or maybe you can land that prized reality show dream of yours with your favorite aliens! I see a future of you, Michale Lohan, and Jon Gosselin on TV together in a documentary: “I Love the Press but Not My Children”. Sounds good, eh? Keep it classy using your adorable children for evil! Your spectacular story kept me intrigued for every second of your lying shtick. Bring Falcon home.
Xoxo,
WJ
